Archives: Sacred Cows

Well I've heard of "retro" but this takes the cake. This novel is merely a thinly-disguised rewrite of a great 50s movie of the same name. Oh sure, Mr Wells tries to hide this fact by setting it in Victorian England, but come on...

Oh well, I guess we should expect a lot more of this sort of thing. I should also point out that fans of Independence Day will also experience a sense of déjà vu while reading this novel. I'm sure Mr Wells will argue that his work is a homage to the great invasion movies but there is a fine line between homage and cashing in.

Here's the plot: Martians (yes, Martians!) invade. They kill a lot of people. There is no way to stop them. They all get the flu and die. There are a few other subplots. A philosophical gunner goes on and on about humans forming a new utopian society under the ground. He's a whining little idiot. There is a vicar who tries to use the power of religion to defeat the Martians. He cops it in the neck, thereby demonstrating that a Bible is no match against a heat ray. Didn't this fool of a man realise that God is on the side of the Americans? And that there are no Americans in this story? And why a heat ray? Why does alien technology have to be based on Victorian technology? Mind you, given the state of the Martians' home they do seem to have given their heat a thorough testing.

There are some nice touches in the novel. Victorian England is lovingly constructed. Until it gets deconstructed by the Martians. There is a small love interest, although not as passionate and intense as that portrayed in the film. The actual Martians themselves are okay. Sort of like giant squid. Now what Mr Wells could have done was to have some sort of hero (there are none in novel as it stands) and he or she could have captured a Martian flying — sorry, walking machine and turned the heat ray on the Martians, thereby destroying their invasion plans and introducing calamari to Victorian England. Given the right treatment, that could work.

What really gets me about HG Wells is that he never comes up with anything original. Have a look at his past output:

The Island of Doctor Moreau — see the original movie and the remake.

The Invisible Man — sound familiar? Movies and TV series.

The Time Machine — another great 50s movie given the Wells treatment.

The Food of the Gods — movie.

The Shape of Things to Come — movie.

When the Sleeper Wakes — movie. See also 1984, Brave New World and We. At least he came up with his own title for this little effort.